GIR, I Know What We're Gonna Do Today!
by AgentInvaderMinionofDoom
Summary: GIR manages to send himself, Zim, Dib, and Gaz to another universe - which is Phineas and Ferb's backyard! What happens when Candace and Dib team up? Will Isabella make a new friend? What trouble does Gir get into? How will they get home! Ch 1-4 have been rewritten. CH.10 IS UP! Thanks for your patience with this story; it's not abandoned! Rated K plus for mild cartoon wrestling.
1. Slip-Up

**Title:** GIR, I Know What We're Gonna Do Today! (GIKWWGDT)  
Chapter 1: Slip-Up  
**Characters:** Dib, Zim, Gaz, GIR  
**Word count:** 849**  
Disclaimer:** I only own the idea for this story. All characters belong to their rightful owners.

**Author's Note:** This chapter was rewritten from the original. Thank you to everyone who is reading this! I love all of you, whether you're a reader that's stuck with this since the beginning or a new reader just passing through! (But I'd love you more if you spared a review and told me what you think.) Enjoy!

* * *

Dib Membrane tried not to make a sound as he spied on his nemesis, the alien Invader Zim. "In his own lab, too! Wow, hehe," Dib mused quietly to himself. Bypassing his enemy's "security" wasn't much of a challenge; it almost never was with Zim's defective robot, GIR, guarding the base. Still, the boy prided himself in "tricking" the malfunctioning SIR unit into letting him in. Zim had yet to notice. Beside him was his sister, Gaz, who only had eyes for her Game Slave.

"Gaz, turn it down; I can't hear Zim's evil plan! And what if he hears that beeping?" Gaz responded by punching him in the gut and continued slaying vampire pigs.

Blinking away tears of pain, Dib refocused on Zim, who was now standing next to a metal hoop-shaped machine twice as tall as him. The platform it stood on read "Universal Transporter".

"GIR, get me the test subject!"

"Yes, master!" the little robot squealed. He ran out of the room and returned a few seconds later dragging a rubber chicken. Zim aimed a remote at the Universal Transporter and pressed a big red button. The machine sprung to life, clanking and whirring, then glowing with energy. Zim took the chicken and tossed it through the hoop; it swallowed it with a flash of bright purple light. The chicken and machine were nowhere to be seen.

"Gaz!" Dib gasped. "Did you see that? The chicken – it just vanished! Into thin air!"

"Dib, can't you see I'm trying to play my Game Slave? Shut up or I'll strangle you!" Gaz threatened through her teeth.

"It was amazing!" he spluttered. "But knowing Zim, he's sure to use it for something horrible, like enslaving the human race or something. I have to destroy it before he gets any ideas. Okay, Gaz, here's the plan-"

"I am not helping you. Can't you see I'm trying to destroy vampire piggies?" Gaz only looked up from her game long enough to shoot him one of her trademark death glares that hinted at his impending doom.

"But-" Dib reached out to touch her arm; Gaz seeing it as a threat, pounced, her hands curling into claws aimed at her brother's giant head. Caught off guard, Dib barely had time to duck; within seconds, Gaz had him pinned him down. He shut his eyes, then felt her loosen her grip and retreat to her corner. She returned to playing her game, leaving Dib to scratch his head in confusion. It was unlike Gaz to pass up an opportunity to destroy Dib, but before he could ponder his sister's strange behavior, he felt claws digging into the back of his neck.

He tried to spin around, and a zipper-like grin gleamed at him from a green face. "What's this?" Zim shook the struggling Dib like a misbehaving puppy. "It looks like the Dib-human has been spying on Zim. Hmm... GIR, what should we do with him?" The alien turned to the robot.

"Uh...throw 'im in the circle thingy and make 'im disappear!" GIR cried. He laughed maniacally and ran into the wall.

"Hmm, what do you think, Dib?" The boy began to open his mouth, but Zim cut him off, "Oh, wait. I don't care!" He cackled dramatically for a minute and then dragged Dib to the machine that somehow reappeared.

"Gaz, help me!" Dib squealed in the direction of her hiding place. There was no answer; only the triumphant sound effects that signaled the completion of a level.

"So... the Dib thing is trying to cry for help from the Dib-sister. How pathetic. I can hear, Dib thing!"

Dib tilted his head thoughtfully. "Dib thing? That's a new one."

"Yeah, I thought I'd try to mix things up a little," Zim casually replied. "Now shut up and face your DOOM!" He gestured as best as he could with his free hand. "Behold! The Universal Transporter! Or UTP, for short," he added.

There was a moment of silence while it sunk in, then, "..UTP? But... 'transporter' is one word. Why the TP?"

"Eh, it sounds cool."

Dib opened his mouth to speak, but was cut off by Zim, "Shut your mouth, human worm baby."

He then commanded, "GIR, bring me the remote so I can dispose of this Dib filth! And the Dib-sister, too! The more humans, the better!"

Gaz strolled to the exit, her eyes never leaving her game. "Go, Gaz! Get help! Save yourself! Call the Swollen Eyeballs!" Dib screamed and kicked, but Zim's grip only tightened.

"GIR, stop her! And where's the remote?" Everything after that happened almost simultaneously. GIR rushed at Gaz (who was taking her time to leave), but slipped on what Dib now realized was the remote. At the same time, his struggles payed off as his foot collided with something hard and Zim groaned. A flash of bright purple light blinded them and the room glowed with energy, and that was the last thing the four of them remembered before they blacked out.


	2. Meet the Flynn-Fletchers

**Title:** GIR, I Know What We're Gonna Do Today! (GIKWWGDT)  
Chapter 2: Meet the Flynn-Fletchers  
**Characters:** Zim, GIR, Dib, Gaz, Phineas, Ferb  
**Word count:** 647

**Author's Note:** Also rewritten from the original chapter. Thank you for reading!

* * *

It could have been a few seconds or hours later that Zim, GIR, Dib, and Gaz woke up. However, the one thing they all immediately noticed was that they had landed in a tree a few yards above a well-maintained lawn.

"Hey, what was that oddly suspicious crashing noise?" a voice belonging to a young boy asked. GIR curiously poked his head between the leaves and saw who the voice belonged to: a red-haired, triangle-shaped head and a taller, rectangular, green-topped boy next to him. "Hi!" the hyperactive robot yelled at them.

The two boys glanced up in surprise as GIR and Zim tumbled out of the tree, the branch they'd been sitting on springing back to knock the Membrane siblings down as well. "Ferb..." the red-head said, "did we ever build a machine that grows people from trees?"

GIR stood up on Zim's head to get a better look at the two boys. "WHO ARE YOU?!" GIR giggled.

Phineas and Ferb exchanged a surprised glance. "I'm Phineas. This is my step-brother Ferb." He gestured at an empty space beside him. "And that's Perry. Hey, where's Perry?"

Upon seeing the two boys, Zim quickly donned his contacts and wig, his eyes flickering warily from Phineas to Ferb. He hopped up and dusted himself off. "My name is the ALMIGHTY INVADER ZIM! And that's my robot sl- er, dog, GIR." He pointed a finger at the naked robot.

"I'm a dog!" He smiled and stuck out his tongue.

"Yes, yes, anyway, the big-headed human is Dib and that's the Dib-sister," Zim went on, unconcerned with GIR's obvious lack of dog disguise.

"Hey, my head's not big!" Dib protested.

"My name is Gaz," Gaz muttered. She angrily smashed a few buttons on her Game Slave. "Stupid thing isn't working," she said more to herself than to warn them not to get on her bad side.

"Of course it is, Dib. Anyway, what are you doing in my base?!"

"Your base?" the boy scratched his triangle head. "But this is our backyard. What are _you_ doing here?"

Zim looked around, taking notice of the strange house and different drawing styles of the brothers. "Then that means..." Zim's eyes lit up when the realization dawned on him, "the UTP worked!" He eagerly sought out his invention, and gasped in shock. "My UTP!" The machine was a few feet away, smoking and flickering like a faulty light bulb.

An uncomfortable silence settled over them; Dib broke it, "Wait, but if it's broken, how are we going to travel back to our own universe?"

"My UTP!" Zim cried and threw himself on the ground in front of it, more concerned at the moment about his ruined invention than with the fact that they were trapped in an unfamiliar universe.

"Does somebody need a hug?" GIR rushed over to his master and clung onto his head.

Phineas and Ferb absorbed all of this with a slightly confused and concerned expression. "You know, if it's a universal transporter you're in need of, my brother Ferb and I could help you."

Zim laughed. "This is advanced Irken technology that I created and designed myself," he said in a condescending and arrogant tone. " I don't—"

"Zim, we don't have a choice!" Dib interrupted, "It's the only way we'll be able to fix it and return to our own universe."

The alien invader scowled and glared at the big-headed human for a few moments, then sighed in a resigned manner unlike Zim. "Fine. I shall allow you human worm babies the _honor_ of helping ZIM fix his _amazing_ invention. But I'm in charge, so don't forget that!"

The redhead boy smiled. "Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today!"


	3. The Plan, The Plan!

**Title:** GIR, I Know What We're Gonna Do Today! (GIKWWGDT)  
Chapter 3: The Plan, The Plan!  
**Characters:** Candace, ~Stacy, ~Phineas, ~Ferb, Zim, Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher, German librarian, ~Gaz, Dib  
**Word count:** 834

**Author's Note:** Rewritten from the original chapter. Don't ask about the librarian. I only own the story.

* * *

Candace Flynn peeked out the window of her second story bedroom overlooking the backyard. "Hang on, Stacy. My busting senses are tingling," she said to her best friend via phone. The other girl scoffed loudly and Candace dropped the phone and her jaw in response to the sight in the backyard. Five minutes prior, when the teenage girl had routinely checked on her two brothers, they'd been the only two under the tree Now there were, she counted, four other kids — well, three and a robot. One of them was _green_.

She opened the window. "Phineas! Ferb! What are you doing and why is that kid green?" She also observed he didn't have ears.

"It's a skin condition!" he yelled, shaking his tiny gloved fist at the orange-headed girl.

"I am so telling Mom!" She picked up the discarded phone. "Huh, Stacy? I thought you'd hung up. Well, I have to go bust Phineas and Ferb! Talk to you later!" She punched the end call button and speed dialed her mom. Her long legs expertly carried her down the stairs and she burst out the screen door leading to the backyard just as Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher answered the phone. "Candace, what is it? I'm—"

"Mom, Mom! You have to come home and see this right away." Candace circled the group and added, "They have a robot with them."

"Candace, I'm very busy. I'll be home in 3 or 4 chapters." The sound of a ruler smacking a desk and a sharp tongue barking, "Zhis iz un livrary! Put zhat avay!" was heard, and Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher hissed, "I have to go, Candace. Bye."

Everyone's attention was focused on Candace (except Gaz, who was back to playing her Game Slave as usual), having overheard the entire conversation (Candace had speaker phone on from her earlier conversation with Stacy since she was putting most of her focus into spying on Phineas and Ferb).

Zim was the first to speak. "First of all, pathetic human worm baby, this is a skin condition. I am NORMAL, just like the Dib-thing, the Dib-sister, you, and the rest of our miserable family units."

"No he's not! He's an alien! Don't let his elaborate scheme fool you!" "the Dib-thing" interrupted, stepping in front of the green kid. "He's an alien trying to take over Earth!"

Zim stepped in front of Dib, blocking _most_ of his head. "Don't listen to him. He's crazy. That's typical Dib, just your average, insane, big-headed human. More importantly, I am THE ALMIGHTY INVADER ZIM! And who are you, human worm baby?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at her.

"My name is Candace, buster of my brothers—"

"Yes, yes, that's nice, 'Can-tiss'. I require your brothers' assistance to rebuild my universal transporter so I can get back to my base! I must be going now." With a dramatic turn on his heels, Zim walked away to inspect the damage inflicted on his precious machine; Phineas and Ferb followed, chatting about portals and other universes. Candace raised an eyebrow and turned to a red-faced Dib.

"So is all that he said really true? Is that a... universal transporter?"

Dib nodded. "And we're stuck here now, thanks to it." He turned to the alien and yelled, "You're not going to get away with this, Zim! I'm going to get proof and expose you to the whole world!"

Candace raised her other eyebrow. "So you're trying to get proof that the green kid's an alien so you can bust him?"

"It's a skin condition!" Zim's voice floated across the yard.

"I know he is, but nobody believes me. Just once, I'd like to prove them all wrong. Aliens exist and Zim's one of them." Dib sighed. "But they all think I'm crazy. Not even my own dad believes me. Do _you_ believe me?"

Candace shrugged. "So green kid's an alien. I've seen weirder. Seriously, you should see the things Phineas and Ferb build. But somehow my mom never sees them, because they always magically disappear at the end of each day."

"What disappears?" Dib asked in awe.

"It's different every day. One time, it was a beach in the backyard, but it disappeared somehow. Another time they built a skyscraper that reached the moon, but she didn't see it. And one time Phineas and Ferb built a big and obvious thing in the backyard that I watched the whole time, but Mom still didn't see it!"

Dib tapped his chin thoughtfully. "Candace, don't you see? If we work together and combine our strengths and resources, we can finally get the proof we need! Then the world will know Zim's an alien!"

Candace's eyes lit up in excitement. "And I can finally bust Phineas and Ferb!" They both chuckled as they imagined their long overdue moments of triumph. "So what's the plan?"


	4. Hey Gaz, Whatcha Doin?

**Title:** GIR, I Know What We're Gonna Do Today! (GIKWWGDT)  
Chapter 4: Hey Gaz, Whatcha Doin'?  
**Characters:** Phineas, ~Ferb, Isabella, Gaz  
**Word count:** 552

**Author's Note:** Also rewritten from the original chapter. This chapter is probably the one I changed the most. The first two were relatively the same; I kept most of the dialogue and just changed a few things. I completely started from scratch with this one, because the original chapter was so poorly written, mainly due to my own lack of interest and carelessness. That being said, I put my full attention into this story, so a review or two on your part couldn't hurt, right?

* * *

"Hi, Phineas. Whatcha doin'?" Isabella Garcia-Shapiro, Phineas and Ferb's neighbor and close friend poked her head through the gate. Across the yard, under the shade of the tree, Gaz's eye unconsciously twitched.

"Great, another one," Gaz Membrane muttered under her breath. While Zim, Dib, and even GIR were chatting it up with the other weirdly shaped kids in this strange and unfamiliar universe, Gaz had better, more important things to do, like play her Game Slave and finally beat the pig boss to get to the bonus level. Somehow, she got it work again after they woke up in the tree, although it would still emit annoying static sometimes.

She was determined to make up for it and defeat all of the vampire pigs... Her character, an avatar with purple, flaming hair, and a black leather outfit dodged a flying pig that swooped down from the top of the screen, causing her to nearly fall into a bottomless pit. As Gaz got caught up in the game, she moved with the avatar, jumping at an exploding pig crashing into the ground, leaning left as she narrowly avoided being crushed by a giant pig, and occasionally muttering aloud. She was so into it that she didn't notice the triangle and the pink bow watching her.

"Why don't you go over and introduce yourself?" Phineas suggested. Isabella nodded hesitantly and cautiously approached the strange girl.

"Hi, my name's Isabella Garcia-Shapiro—"

"And I care why?" Gaz hissed. She'd been thrown off by the arrival of the brightly dressed, annoyingly chipper girl, and nearly ran straight into a horde of vampire hogs.

Isabella frowned slightly. "What's your name?" she tried again.

"Gaz. Now move, you're blocking my light."

The other girl tapped her chin thoughtfully. She cautiously sat next to the purple-haired girl. "What are you playing?"

Gaz warily glanced at her out of the corner of her eye, before flatly answering, "Game Slave 2. I have to defeat these evil pigs."

"Oh, I've never played a Game Slave before."

Gaz risked another glance at her. _What was she getting at?_ "Oh, that's too bad. If you'll excuse me, I'd like to get to the bonus level by the time triangle kid fixes the UTP."

"You mean Phineas?"

"Sure, whatever." Suddenly Gaz's avatar was surrounded by a mob of bomb pigs. She whirled around, but there was no way out and they were closing in on her – fast. Shifting her full attention to the game, Gaz started to fight her way through before the glowing red numbers on their backs reached zero. Just as she was nearing the end of her HP, another swarm (this one with wings) flew down from a nearby tree. She jumped, having been caught off guard but not as much as Isabella, who gasped so loudly that it broke Gaz's concentration.

To be honest, Gaz had forgotten Isabella was there. She'd assumed the other girl had left, intimidated or scared off or whatever. The red health bar disappeared and the GAME OVER screen flashed; Gaz scoffed in annoyance. She turned to Isabella. "Thanks; you made me lose." Without another word, she left a hurt-faced Isabella to find another spot to play her game in peace.


	5. Stuck in a Pickle

**Title:** GIR, I Know What We're Gonna Do Today! (GIKWWGDT)  
Chapter 5: Stuck in a Pickle  
**Characters:** GIR, Perry, ~Monogram, Doofenshmirtz  
**Word count:** 1032

**Author's Note: **Slightly modified from the original chapter. Originally, Doof's ice cream flavor was potato and Perry's trap was also a potato, but I thought about it and pickles fit better. Another major edit I made was changing the fact that Perry could talk to GIR. Looking it over this time around, Perry talking is just too weird to consider.

* * *

GIR eventually got distracted from his one-sided conversation with a squirrel, so he started to wonder around, looking for nuts to store in his dog suit. He noticed a blue duck with a beaver tail crawl past and called out to him, "Hi, blue duck thing!" GIR stuck out his tongue and waved enthusiastically.

Perry the Platypus responded with a noise like a purring car engine. GIR didn't notice, for the squirrel had returned. "Look, squirrel! I gots myself a friend!" the hyper, little robot shouted. The squirrel jumped and scampered away, clearly unsure of what to make of the strange, green dog thing.

Forgetting the squirrel, GIR turned around to talk to the blue duck thing, but he wasn't there anymore. The robot disguised as a dog looked around. "Blue ducky? Hellooo?" The blue ducky was climbing into a hole in his house that, to GIR, looked like a slide. "Blue ducky, wait for me!" he cried, jumping in after him. "WHEE HEE HEE!"

At the other end of the tube was a gigantic room. The robot stared in amazement at the assortment of spy gadgets and fun-looking flying cars. At the far end of the room was a man with a white unibrow on a giant TV screen. He was giving instructions to Perry the Platypus, who was wearing a fedora and taking notes. However, GIR noticed none of this. He was too busy climbing into one of the secret agent rocket cars. Meanwhile, Perry the Platypus hopped into the front and drove off, oblivious to the fact that GIR was in the back, hiding under a seat.

When they arrived at Doofenshmirtz Evil, Inc., GIR peeked out from under the seat. "Oh, hi, blue duck!" he screamed.

Perry jumped in surprise, nearly falling over the side of the oddly shaped building. His eyes widened in shock as he recognized the "dog" from another universe. Chattering, he pointed at GIR, then at the rocket car.

GIR frowned. "You don't want me to come with you? Why are you standing like that? Where'd you get that hat? How did we get here? CAN I HAS TAQUITOS?!"

The platypus ignored all the robot's questions (as if he could answer them at all) and made a pleading motion. GIR narrowed his eyes suspiciously. Perry swallowed nervously.

"Oooooookay! I'll wait here with da monkeys," GIR said. He jumped back in and hid under the seat again, the tail on his dog suit wagging happily. "Look! Da monkeys," GIR whispered, holding up a bubblegum wrapper covered in ants.

Perry raised a nonexistent eyebrow and left without another word. He found Doofenshmirtz behind one of his infamous Inators.

Today, it was shaped like an ice cream cone. Perry walked a few feet towards him and found himself in a trap that looked and smelled like a pickle. When he saw Perry, he started his usual evil rant, "Ah, Perry the Platypus! You're probably wondering why this Inator is shaped like an ice cream cone and your trap is a pickle." He tapped his chin thoughtfully. "I feel like there's a pun here that I'm missing. Eh. Anyway, when I was a boy back in Gimmelshtump, my older brother Roger pushed me down, because I had an ice cream cone he wanted. He made me drop it!" To Perry's surprise (and horror), the mad scientist's eyes began to water. "And it was pickle flavor! Which explains the pickle you're in." He sighed heavily and wiped his eyes before continuing, "So I created this Drop-Your-Ice-Cream-Inator to use today, which happens to be National Ice Cream Day." He laughed evilly, satisfied with his newest evil scheme. "Isn't irony the best?"

Perry just stared. The mad scientist had some serious issues.

Perry struggled to escape the pickle he was in. Literally. He tried to reach one of his many secret agent gadgets, but soon realized they were missing from their usual spot. Meanwhile, GIR was threatening the "monkeys" with a very sharp object he had somehow pickpocketed from the platypus.

Agent P thought on his toes and went for the next best thing he could do without tools. He opened his mouth wide, baring his teeth, and bit into the pickle. Almost immediately, he spit the piece out to get rid of the offending sour taste. Bracing himself for the next bite, he continued on his quest. A few minutes in, Doofenshmirtz was wrapping up his evil speech and Perry had barely made any progress. He struggled unsuccessfully against the slimy pickle's skin.

All of a sudden, there was a loud crashing noise, and a few seconds later, Doofenshmirtz screamed. Perry turned just enough to see GIR running in circles around the mad scientist, his little feet squeaking with each step. "Look, I found a monkey!" GIR yelled, possibly referring to Doofenshmirtz.

The mad scientist stared at the strange green dog and cried, "What the heck is that?" while jerking a finger at GIR. Perry rolled his eyes, while Doof continued ranting, "Is it a dog? Why is it green? Why does it have a zipper? Its eyes aren't even pointing in the same direction!"

Perry growled loud enough to catch GIR's attention, which caused GIR to abruptly stop running and skid a few feet towards Perry. He cautiously approached the secret agent and sniffed the pickle. Doofenshmirtz, realizing where GIR ended up, snatched a remote with a big red button and pointed it at him.

Perry gasped — well, made a noise as close to gasping a platypus can make.

He growled/screamed, but it was too late. GIR shook the bars of the cage, then sat down on the floor in defeat.

"So, Perry the Platypus… this green dog… thing… is he a little friend of yours?" Doofenshmirtz studied the little green "dog". Then he gasped, "Or is he a partner?"

Perry growled. If Doofenshmirtz thought GIR was his partner, he was just as in danger as the secret agent. For the first time, Perry started to feel hopeless in their situation. With GIR also trapped and all his spy gadgets left in the rocket car, they were, for lack of a better word, doomed.


	6. Hey, Where's Gaz?

**Title:** Gir, I Know What We're Gonna Do Today! (GIKWWGDT)  
Chapter 6: Hey, Where's Gaz?  
**Characters:** Zim, Phineas, Ferb, Candace, Dib, Isabella, Gaz, ~Fireside Girls  
**Word count:** 1657

**Author's Note: **Ten points to whoever spots the Hetalia reference! This chapter is pretty much the same, but I wanted to fix that one scene where Zim has a snack break. I highly doubt Irkens would willingly share their snacks with strangers.

* * *

Zim ran his fingers through his wig in frustration. His _incredibly amazing_ invention was a pile of smoking machinery. "Do you really think your evolved monkey brains can fix this?" the dubious Irken asked Phineas. He gestured to the UTP, which was starting to make strange clanking and hissing noises.

Phineas smiled and shrugged, "Yeah, it should be fairly easy; my brother Ferb and I built something similar to this once. And we're handy with tools." Ferb twirled a hammer to demonstrate his point.

"I really don't think you should." Zim bragged, so full of himself, that the arrival of a pair of walking, metal legs went unnoticed, "This is a very complex, sophisticated piece of machinery that I built myself, and I highly doubt — Hey, how did you do that?" Zim stared in shock at the brothers, who were perched atop a giant metal contraption with legs and a protruding magnet-shaped arm. The Irken closed his mouth before he could catch flies and quickly regained a cool, unimpressed manner. "So… what is that and how does it work? I DEMAND you explain it to _me, ZIM._ NOW, human worm babies!"

"It's a—"

"NO, there's no time for that!" Zim interrupted. "We must get to work immediately, so I can get back to my own universe. This one makes me sick! With your… bright… cheeriness and THE SUN! WHY IS IT SO BRIGHT?!"

Phineas glanced at Ferb, who returned his blank, confused stare. "Anyway… we should probably get started if you want to get home anytime soon," Phineas said. The brothers parked the machine in the shade of the tree and climbed down. Zim followed them to the pile of wreckage. "Do you have any blueprints?"

Zim blinked. "My robot minio— I mean… my _dog_ must have them." Phineas sent Zim a funny look and shrugged.

"Well, we could just freestyle it," Phineas suggested. "How about it, Ferb?" The green-haired boy nodded and gave a thumbs up in response. The brothers immediately began to work on the scraps of metal, salvaging usable parts and putting aside the charred and smoking bits. Zim hesitated.

Well, these humans looked like they knew what they were doing. And Zim was all for letting them do most of the work. The Irken shrugged and pitched in by "supervising" and providing the boys with tons of snacks from their own pantry. Zim tore into a bar of Snackers; surprised at the delicious, sticky sweetness, he exclaimed in disgust. The brothers looked up. "You guys don't have chocolate bars in your universe?" Phineas asked.

Zim shook his head and wiped his snake-like tongue with the back of his gloved hand. "Nah, just Poop Candy Bars." He shuddered at the memory of the sawdusty taste. Phineas raised an eyebrow, but said nothing.

"If you don't like chocolate, maybe you'll have a taste for these," Ferb said, pointing to a package of black licorice that nobody wanted.

The alien ripped it open and swallowed a handful, choking a little, but pleased with the taste nonetheless. He downed half the bag in ten seconds flat, and glanced at a sleeve of Saltines. "So you guys gonna eat those or what?"

"Well, I guess we could take a break," Phineas replied. He and Ferb sat in the shade of the tree and snacked on crackers, cookies, and candy with a very short alien. It probably wasn't the weirdest thing they'd ever done.

"So… what's with that loud, squeaky girl with the pink bow?" Zim attempted at a conversation.

"You mean Isabella," Phineas corrected. "What about her?"

Zim frowned. "She seems to have a lot of… oh, what's that word? _Adoration_ towards you."

Phineas opened his mouth to answer, however a shrill voice pierced the air. "Phineas! Ferb! You two are so busted!" it shrieked. Zim looked up at the window with twitching eyes, wishing he hadn't left his ray gun in his own universe. Honestly, that red-headed girl was just as bad as Dib.

Candace noticed the alien's annoyed gaze and frowned at him. "Hey! Green kid! You're going down, too! And what is that?" She pointed at the walking metal machine that still sat under the tree.

"It's a—"

"I don't care what it is; I'm still telling Mom!" With that said, she closed the window with a frustrated sigh. She turned to the boy with a big head topped with black hair sitting on her bed. He was currently engrossed in a teen magazine she'd been reading earlier.

"I already called my mom and told her what Phineas and Ferb are doing," Candace interrupted Dib, who looked up in surprise.

"So what do we do now?" Dib asked, setting down the magazine.

"Now we sit and wait." She turned back to the window.

Dib raised an eyebrow. "So we're not going to collect evidence?"

"Evidence? I can never get any cold, hard evidence against them! It's like the universe won't allow them to get in trouble!" Candace cried.

Dib nodded in agreement. "I know what you mean. In fact, this one time I was spying on Zim outside of his base, trying to take pictures, but this squirrel attacked me! I fell off the fence I was sitting on into a bush, but not before getting plenty of pictures of Zim without his disguise. Although some were really blurry…," Dib trailed off.

"So nobody else knows he's an alien? It's obvious!"

Dib huffed unhappily, "Yeah. I know, but everybody at Skool thinks I'm crazy. I mean it's obvious!" Candace continued spying on Zim and her brothers, who were currently finishing the pile of snacks and cleaning up the wrappers. Dib joined her by the window. "Just look at him! Taunting us with his snacks! And why are your brothers helping him anyway? Shouldn't we warn them about how dangerous he could be?"

The teenage girl waved a hand at him. "I'm sure they already know he's an alien. That just gives me more reason to bust him, too. And anyway, he doesn't look that dangerous," she commented.

"He's trying to take over Earth!" Dib cried, jumping up and waving his arms around enthusiastically. "Well, the Earth in my universe," he added as an afterthought.

"And has he ever come close to succeeding?" Candace asked dubiously. Dib shook his head and started to ramble, but Candace spaced out. The short, green kid looked harmless. In fact, to her, he seemed kind of pathetic. Anyway, she promised Dib that she would help him. "We should keep a lookout for Mom," she said out loud, more to herself then Dib. "I'll do that. You stay here and collect evidence or whatever." Candace went downstairs and positioned herself on the couch facing the backyard for easy access to the front door but still close enough to the stairs so Dib would hear her if she called.

Dib squealed happily in response and took over the post by the window overlooking the backyard, where the brothers were currently talking to the purple-haired girl who'd come through the UTP with Zim.

"The part we need to finish the UTP is an electromagnetic adapter. Without it, we can't fix it," Phineas was explaining. "Those are commonly found in Game Slaves, and since we don't have one, we used this," Phineas pointed to the mysterious metal machine under the tree (_So that's what it does,_ Dib thought), "to locate one. Apparently, the only one in the Tri-State Area is in your video game."

Gaz frowned at him. "You want my Game Slave so you can take it apart? No way."

"We don't have time for this! Give me it, Dib-sister!" Zim yelled and held out his hand for it.

Dib jumped in surprise when he heard Candace yell that her mom was home; he ran down the stairs to greet Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher.

Meanwhile, in the backyard, Isabella was attempting to convince Gaz to give up her precious Game Slave. Her loyal Fireside Girls were standing by, wondering what was going on and if they were going to help Gaz with her video game. "Come on, Gaz, it's just a game. Wouldn't you much rather be with your family? Don't you want to get back _home_?" the Fireside Girl cajoled, not realizing she'd struck a nerve.

Gaz growled, getting ready to release her rage on somebody, when Zim suddenly and unexpectedly cried, "Yes! I must get back to my base! Give me that game, filthy human!" The Irken all but attacked her in his attempts to wrestle the Game Slave from Gaz's protective clutches. She pushed him off and nearly kicked him in his squeedily-spooch, if it wasn't for his small stature and ability to quickly roll out of the way. He jumped up and, with a crazed glint in his contact-lens-blue eyes, lunged again for the game in Gaz's hand.

The bystanders, shocked by Zim's outburst, were jolted from their stupor, and grabbed Zim's arms to hold him back, all while Isabella tried to calm him and Zim yelled at them to let him go. In the chaos, Gaz tried to back away from Zim's flailing limbs, but tripped over someone's outstretched foot, causing her Game Slave to go flying into the UTP, which had been left on by the brothers.

Her game was swallowed in a purple light; Gaz jumped in after it without a second thought. With a flash of purple light, she, her Game Slave, and the UTP were gone. By the time they got Zim to _finally_ stop shouting, they realized there was a distinct lack of purple hair. Isabella was the first to notice. "Hey… where's Gaz?"


	7. The Escape and the Rescue Mission

**Title:** GIR, I Know What We're Gonna Do Today! (GIKWWGDT)  
Chapter 7: The Escape and the Rescue Mission  
**Characters:** Perry, GIR, Doofenshmirtz, Zim, Phineas, Ferb, Dib, Candace, Isabella, Gaz, Fireside Girls, Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher  
**Word count:** 1499

**Author's Note:** The only thing I changed about this chapter was the Perry dialogue- or rather, I got rid of it. This marks the last of the changes, but I'm sorry for the updates you're getting even though I haven't posted chapter 9 yet (the site was being complicated, and long story short, I accidentally deleted these chapters). I do have it written, but I haven't sent it to be Beta'd yet. Thanks for being patient! In the meantime, you could always review...

* * *

Perry's eyes anxiously flickered from GIR to Doofenshmirtz — who began to ramble about ice cream — and back. The secret agent hissed.

"Look what I got!" GIR loudly squealed. The platypus was grateful Doofenshmirtz didn't hear him, but nearly cried out himself when he saw what the green dog held in his stubby little paws. The robot aimed Perry's own ray gun at him, and the secret agent broke into a nervous sweat. "Pew pew!" GIR giggled and looked around for something else to aim at. "Does it has taquitos?" Perry started to relax, thinking GIR couldn't figure out how to work the ray gun.

He was proved wrong a second later when it started to go off, nearly missing Perry and effectively hitting Doofenshmirtz's Drop-Your-Ice-Cream-Inator. It became engulfed in a shower of sparks; Doofenshmirtz whirled around just in time to avoid getting hit in the face. He cried out and hid behind a conveniently overturned chair. "That's not fair; my plans can't be foiled already! This fan fiction is barely half over!"

GIR continued to giggle and shot at some more random things, including Perry's pickle trap. It resembled a charred sausage when he finally got out and kicked open GIR's cage. "Yay, DOOM!" the insane green dog shouted. He threw the ray gun in the air, where Agent P easily caught it.

The Inator began to smoke and caught on fire. Doofenshmirtz yelled, "It's going to explode!"

Suddenly, getting himself and GIR out of there as soon as possible became an immediate priority for the platypus. He ran to the edge of the odd-shaped building, motioning for GIR to follow. Surprisingly, he obeyed without question, leaving Doofenshmirtz to freak out about the smoking Inator. The mad scientist rushed around looking for an escape, but tripped over the cord of his own Drop-Your-Ice-Cream-Inator.

Meanwhile, Perry hurried over to his hover-car… to find it smoking and covered in scorch marks. A wing fell off. "I make-ed it all purdy! DO YA LIKE IT?" GIR squealed.

Perry winced. They needed to get off that building _immediately._ Obviously the secret agent car was out of question. That just left… "Grrr." Perry pointed at GIR, then at his back.

"Are we goin' for a piggyback ride?" GIR cried. He eagerly clung to the platypus.

Perry smiled nervously, making a "kind of" motion with his hand, then jumped over the side of the building. GIR screamed very loudly, right in the platypus's ear, he might add. The secret agent pulled a cord and a parachute popped open at the same time that Doofenshmirtz's Inator blew up.

"Curse you, Perry the Platypus! And your little, green dog friend as well!" the mad scientist's cries could be heard behind them among the explosions.

GIR shivered and clung to the platypus; he only opened his eyes when the duo landed safely on the ground. The little green dog released his grip on the secret agent; he fell to the sidewalk and held onto it for dear life. "Dat… was so much FUN!" GIR shouted, erasing Perry's earlier impression that he was scared out of his wits.

Perry smiled in response. Now just to get them home… Perry's thoughts trailed off, realizing exactly where they stood — which was miles away from Phineas and Ferb's house with no way to travel, now that the secret agent hover-car was a pile of rubbish. Walking was out of the question; it was too far. To make matters worse, they were all alone, a secret agent platypus and a robot/dog from another universe, with no idea how to get back.

Perry sighed. This was just not his day. First, the pickle trap incident (He was embarrassed to admit he almost didn't make it out of that one.), and now this. Just how much worse could this day get?

His thoughts were interrupted by an earsplitting screeching noise that rattled his bones. Simultaneously, GIR and Perry looked up to see a massive, metal machine come to a stop in front of them. The two exchanged a knowing glance; when the door creaked open and a crowd of people filed out, the duo weaved their way through legs and onto the city bus.

Under normal circumstances, if somebody had vanished into thin air, most people would have freaked out. _These_ people, however, were not like most people, nor was this a normal circumstance. This group of people had associated themselves with Phineas and Ferb. Stuff like this wasn't out of the ordinary for them.

So instead of screaming or freaking out, Phineas, Ferb, and the Fireside Girls got right to work preparing for someone to go after Gaz when, or if, the UTP reappeared into their backyard.

"The electromagnetic adapter in Gaz's Game Slave probably activated the UTP when it passed through it. When Gaz jumped in after it, she most likely ended up in the game's universe," Phineas explained. "If someone was willing to go after her, with this hard hat that also functions as a camera for safety, of course—"

"I'll go," Isabella offered. "As a Fireside Girl, I made a promise to help a friend in need, and right now, Gaz is that friend in need." Adyson, Holly, and Gretchen nodded in agreement.

Phineas began to argue, but was interrupted by Dib bursting in the fence and shouting, "THERE'S THE ALIEN!" He dramatically pointed a finger at Zim, whose eyes flickered nervously and made a "Who, me?" gesture. Dib's eyes wandered to the rest of the backyard and the scene in front of him, before crying out, "Hey, where's Gaz?!"

"I think we've been over this," Isabella commented.

Before Dib could have a full-blown panic attack ("Zim, what did you do to her?! I'll get you, filthy alien scum! Just you watch!"), Candace pushed past them with her mom in tow. "See, Mom? See?! They have an alien in the backyard! And a UNIVERSAL TRANSPORTER!"

Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher looked around at the backyard. "Candace, I'm seeing a distinct lack of aliens and/or universal transporters." Their mother smiled at Phineas, Ferb, and Zim. "I'm glad to see you two making new friends," she said. She smiled at Zim. "What's your name?"

The alien dramatically cleared his throat. "My name? My name is THE ALMIGHTY INVADER ZIM! And I am no friend of theirs. I am using the triangle-head kid and the green-haired kid to get home _to my own universe_! I _HATE_ this one! It smells like dookie!"

"What an active imagination!"

"MOM!" Candace groaned. "He's not imagining it. He's telling the truth! Just ask Dib!"

Dib nodded, eager to share his knowledge. "Yeah, Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher! He really is an alien! And there _really_ is a Universal Transporter! He's trying to use it to get back to the universe I also came from! Zim, what did you do with it?!"

"You can't prove anything, Dib-stink!"

Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher observed all this with a faint hint of amusement in her smile. "Candace, I'm glad to see you making friends, but I have to go. I have a doctor's appointment today. There's leftover spaghetti in the—"

"Okay, okay, Mom. I get it. You don't believe me, 'cause they magically made the stuff disappear." Candace sighed. With that, Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher said good-bye and rushed off to her car before her daughter could try to convince her that Phineas and Ferb modified the spaghetti to attack intruders.

"Actually, Candace," Phineas started explaining as their mother walked out of earshot, "we didn't do anything to the UTP. Ferb thinks it's an automatic response system that temporarily transported it to the universe in the game where Gaz is. Judging by the —"

"Yeah, yeah, that's great. Ugh, come on, Dib." Candace glowered at the group in the backyard and stormed angrily back inside.

Dib hesitated, then turned and pointed an accusatory finger at his proclaimed nemesis. "I'll get you, Zim! Candace and I will bust you and prove to the world that you're a filthy alien! We will! Mark my words!"

"'Mark my words'?" Zim smirked.

Dib's eye started to twitch. "Agh! You sent my _sister_ into another _universe_! That's the last straw, Zim! We'll get you!"

"Hey, Dib!" Candace's voice floated out the window of her bedroom. "Are you coming up or not?"

"Yeah!" Dib answered. With one last glare at Zim and an "I've got my eyes on you" gesture, he made his way back upstairs to Candace's room.

Candace started talking as soon as Dib opened the door, "Remember how you were talking about evidence earlier today...?"

Dib nodded. "Yeah. I got at least 20 pictures of Zim... oh, and the UTP. And I left this camera running this whole time. Why?"

"Well, that gave me an idea..."


	8. Say You Hate Me

**Title:** GIR, I Know What We're Gonna Do Today! (GIKWWGDT)  
Chapter 8: Say You Hate Me  
**Characters:** Zim, Phineas, Ferb, Isabella, Gaz, Adyson Sweetwater, Katie, Gretchen, Dib, Candace  
**Word count:** 1634

**Author's Note:** There's slight Phinabella in here if you squint really hard and tilt your head like Castiel. The title for this chapter is a play on We The Kings' "Say You Like Me".  
And yes, Adyson, Katie, and Gretchen are actual Fireside Girls. I did extensive research on them (I looked at their wiki pages), but they hardly have a role on the show, so I think they're in character... Is it bad that I spent 20 minutes choosing which girls I was gonna put in this story?  
Thank you to everybody who's reading this! I can't thank you enough. Without your support, this story would never have gotten this far. That being said, I wouldn't mind a little constructive criticism while we're waiting for the next update, eh?

* * *

The UTP shimmered back into view a few seconds after Candace and Dib left, just as Phineas had predicted. "Ferb and I modified the UTP to return to the last universe it was in after a certain amount of time, in case someone was left behind. It'll stay here for five minutes at most, or until someone else enters it, then it'll return to the Game Slave universe," Phineas explained.

"Then why can't the Gaz-human come back on her own?" Zim interrupted. "I think even her tiny human brain must comprehend the concept of using the UTP to get back."

"Well, when we fixed the UTP, Ferb and I discovered a flaw" (Zim's eye twitched at the word) "in the system. To actually operate the UTP, you need the remote, which we have. This is where Isabella comes in. She and the Fireside Girls will go in the UTP with the remote, find Gaz, and bring her back here. When you're all united again, you can return to your own universe. The only problem with this plan is that you only get one chance. If we miss that five-minute time slot, Gaz will be trapped in the Game Slave universe."

"Is that really such a bad thing?" Zim remarked.

Phineas ignored him. "Isabella, the UTP can only transport four people at a time. Only three of the Fireside Girls will be able to go with you, otherwise it might overload."

Isabella had picked Adyson, Katie, and Gretchen. With Adyson's many skills, Katie's strength, and Gretchen's brains, they would make an excellent team. She took a deep breath, and packed a huge horseshoe magnet into her bag. When you were a Fireside Girl, you could never be too prepared. She shared a nervous glance with the other Fireside Girls accompanying her. When they finished packing, the troop leader prepared to give her girls a short pep talk. She climbed on top of a conveniently placed box and cleared her throat. Inspiring music began to play in the background. "Okay, girls. We're going to find Gaz and bring her back, even if she doesn't want to come! It could be dangerous and it might be a while before we find Gaz. But as Fireside Girls, we won't give up, no matter what! Are you ready?"

"Yes!" the other three girls yelled in unison. As one, they slung on their stylish pink packs and faced the UTP and the unknown universe reflected in it. They looked to each other for assurance and stepped through it, a determined look on the four girls' faces.

One flash of purple light later, they were gone. "Good... luck," Phineas murmured to now empty space.

Ferb laid a comforting hand on his brother's shoulder. "All we can do now is wait," the British boy said. Phineas nodded slightly and the two stared at the spot where the Fireside Girls had disappeared.

"So... do you have any more chocolate?" Zim interrupted their dramatic farewell.

Phineas pulled away from his brother and made his way back inside.

In another universe made of pixels, pigs, and pirate ships, the Fireside Girls dusted themselves off from the rough landing. The UTP sat a few feet away, almost glowing with energy. Isabella glanced at the remote and pressed a button, which made the UTP chirp just like a car being locked. After taking in their surroundings, a barren landscape with bare twigs of trees and a blood-red sky, the leader then turned to address her troop, "So where should we—"

A loud squeal, then a grunt interrupted her, causing the girls to run in the direction they heard the noises come from. They were met with an odd sight. Gaz was in hand-to-hand combat with an oversized pig with wings, fangs, and glowing red eyes. The pig got the upper hand and pinned the purple-haired girl to the ground, when the Fireside Girls sprung into action.

Katie wrestled the pig off; Gretchen produced a rope that Adyson used to hogtie the flailing animal in two seconds flat. Isabella ran over to help Gaz, who was slowly picking herself up off the ground. "You!" Gaz exclaimed, when she saw who had come to her rescue. "What are you doing here?" she asked, scowling at her.

"I'm here to help!" Isabella answered. She roundhouse kicked the pig in its face and it fell over, squealing and oinking in defeat.

Gaz groaned, "Is this about me yelling at you earlier today? Look, I don't need your help. I live for this. I can handle the vampire pigs myself." She began to storm off, but an exploding pig dropped from the sky and latched itself onto the girl's back. The built-in bomb on its back showed 0:15, and counting down.

Gaz struggled to get rid of it; Isabella tore it off and tossed it into the air where it exploded not a second too soon. "That was twice that I helped you. I think a 'thank you' is in order," Isabella commented, a little coldly. She immediately regretted it, her expression softening into an apologetic one.

The other girl snorted, "Please. Don't make me laugh." She began to walk away from the group of Fireside Girls.

"Wait!" Isabella cried. "Don't you see? Without our help, you don't stand a chance of getting out of here. We just want to help." She held out her hand and put on her best pleading puppy dog face.

Gaz's scowl deepened. "And why would you want to do that?"

The Fireside Girl's eyes widened. "Why wouldn't I?"

Gaz didn't answer. Instead, she awkwardly dusted herself off and pushed past the Fireside Girls to where they left the UTP, just a few yards away. "So how do we get out of here?"

"Well, the UTP..." Isabella trailed off, realizing that the space where the UTP was just minutes ago was now empty.

Gaz frowned at the grainy, sand-colored soil. "It looks like it was right here." She pointed at a circular indentation in the ground.

"But... where did it go?" Katie asked.

"I think... we have to beat the game to get out," Gretchen slowly said.

"What makes you say that?" Gaz half-sarcastically asked, not really caring for the answer.

"That!" The girls' eyes followed Gretchen's finger and were met with a shocking sight. Bunches of vicious pigs, some with wings and fangs, others with bomb fuses and countdown clocks, were perched in the stick thin trees.

Gaz gasped, fully opening her brown eyes in curiosity. These were the pigs she had battled so many times in her game, right here in front of her. They were a lot bigger in person. And they all had their eyes on them.

"Don't make any sudden movements or loud noises," Isabella whispered. "Let's just slowly back away..."

This was easier said than done, as proved by accident-prone Adyson. The girl tripped over a rock, threw out her arms, and shrieked. By the time she hit the ground, the vampire pigs were on them like frosting on cake. "Don't scream! It makes them angrier!" Gaz screamed over the pigs' snarling.

"How do you know that?" Isabella yelled back, while trying to fight off two pigs. "How do you even scream in a video game?!"

"It was in the Game Slave special online edition cheat codes and tips!" Gaz answered, wrestling with a particularly chubby pig and pushing it to the ground. "And the combination is X-Y-X-Y!" She got the pig on the ground and pinned it down, causing it to squeal for mercy. Gaz being Gaz, she showed it no mercy and kicked it into a tree, where it lay for a few seconds before dissolving into 0s and 1s.

The rest of the girls defeated their opponents; in the few seconds of silence that followed while the other pigs closed in on them, they formed a back-to-back circle facing the ugly, snarling animals. "Fine," Gaz growled, never taking her eyes off of them.

"What?" Isabella asked from her position next to her. The girls were forced closer together as the pigs tightened the circle around them, their squashed snouts and curled claws reminding Gaz of evil smirks and long, dirty fingers.

"I said fine. You can help. But don't expect me to be happy about it," the purple-haired girl growled.

Isabella smiled to herself and attacked the closest vampire pig in response.

* * *

"Dib, check on cameras 2, 3, and 4," Candace commanded. Dib nodded and gave a thumbs up after checking the set up they had throughout Candace's room. More cameras were strategically placed all around the backyard and the rest of the house. "Which shirt would look better on camera?" The girl held up two identical blouses.

"Definitely the one on the right. Although the one on the left really brings out your hair color," Dib answered.

Candace studied both for a while before saying, "Hmm, I think I'll just go with the one I'm wearing."

Dib nodded from across the room where he was setting up another camera overlooking the backyard. "I think this idea of yours is brilliant! I never would have thought of it."

Candace shrugged. "I tried something like this once before, but it kind of backfired..."

"But these are news reporters we're talking about here! Live! On TV! Once they get footage of Zim and your brothers working on the UTP, we'll have proof that will be broadcasted live across the Tri-State area! Anyway, enough chit-chat. Are you ready?"

Candace smirked. "Of course."


	9. Level Up (Newspaper Blues)

**Title:** GIR, I Know What We're Gonna Do Today! (GIKWWGDT)  
Chapter 9: Level Up (Newspaper Blues)  
**Characters:** Candace, Dib, ~Phineas & Ferb, ~Zim, Jimmy Collins (OC), Isabella, Katie, Gretchen, Adyson, Gaz, Mrs. Jones (OC), currently unnamed blond British camera guy (OC)  
**Word count:** 1462  
**Disclaimer:** I only own the story and my OCs: Jimmy Collins, Mrs. Jones, and currently unnamed blond, British camera guy.

**Author's Note:** If you know me, then you know where I got the reporter's name from. And if you don't, I'd be happy to explain. (You may as well just skip this, since I doubt anyone cares.) In _Supernatural,_ _Jimmy_ Novak is the angel Castiel's vessel. The actor that plays Cas is Misha _Collins_. Now you know something new about me. I'm very unoriginal when it comes to names.

* * *

"The reporters should be here any minute now," Candace informed Dib, between rushing from the mirror to the window and back to check on her hair. "And then we'll finally bust Phineas and Ferb!"

"And Zim for the filthy alien he is!" Dib added. The two began to laugh diabolically until they were interrupted by a doorbell. "They're here!"

Candace ran down the stairs and Dib followed close behind by sliding on the rail. When she opened the door, there stood a man with wild, salt-and-pepper hair and an almost ridiculous grin. He had the kind of easy-going blue-green eyes that knew how to draw in a crowd. "Hello! My name is Jimmy Collins!" His smile grew wider, showing gleaming white teeth, and he stuck out his hand to shake.

Candace nervously held out her hand. Jimmy shook it with enthusiasm and a dazzling smile. "So! Why don't we start with the interviews?" Candace and Dib exchanged an anxious glance.

* * *

Isabella jumped at the closest snarling pig, tackling it in its midsection, a move so brash and unexpected coming from her that the Fireside Girls were caught off guard. The pigs jumped on this opportunity, pouncing on the girls the second they turned their gaze from them. Katie, Gretchen, and Adyson screamed and threw their arms up, providing little protection from the growling pigs' rabid fangs.

Gaz immediately sprang into action, rolling her eyes at how uncoordinated the girls looked.

"Amateurs," she scoffed, then ripped a squealing pig off of Gretchen's back. She swung it around like a bat and two more pigs dissolved into 0's and 1's. Four more swarmed in to fill the space. The girl ducked their razor sharp claws, and kicked their legs out from underneath them. As the pigs disappeared, Gaz was already fighting off another handful of enemies.

Meanwhile, Isabella was fending for herself almost as well as Gaz. She had three patches in wrestling and martial arts, after all. The Fireside Girl was doing pretty well fending off the pigs' slow, clumsy advances, when a gang of snarling bomb pigs surrounded her, seemingly out of nowhere. She glanced around, scanning for a way out, but found none. Since the other girls were preoccupied with their own opponents, Isabella knew she would have to find a way out of this on her own. She took a deep breath and positioned herself into a fighting stance.

* * *

"So Candace... when exactly did you begin to suspect your brothers are in cahoots with an alien?" Jimmy Collins inquired, his ever-present smile replaced by a dead-serious expression.

"Well... from the beginning, I guess." She frowned thoughtfully. "I mean, it's obvious from his green skin that he's either an alien or Phineas and Ferb are involved." The reporter nodded and began scribbling furiously in a small, plain, brown notebook.

"Can you describe to me what your brothers are like?"

Dib huffed impatiently, and they continued on like this for another 10 minutes, all the while Jimmy scrawled away in his little spiral notebook. The boy began to pace back and forth until Jimmy Collins stood up. Dib took the chance to pounce on him with questions, "So is it my turn to be interviewed? Or do you have what you need already?" Jimmy stretched and scratched his neck.

"I need a break," the reporter yawned. "Honestly, this is all a bit dull."

"Dull?!" Dib cried.

He nodded slowly, taking a swig from a water bottle seemingly produced out of nowhere. "You know, I only took this story because my son wanted me to. He loves all this alien conspiracy stuff. Can't get enough of it," he chuckled.

Candace's eye twitched. "But Mr. Collins, we have proof!"

Dib chimed in, "Yeah, there really is an alien!"

"That's good!" He took another drink and nearly spit it out when Dib suddenly appeared in front of him with one of the many cameras they'd planted around the house.

"Look! On this tape, we've captured the alien working on the UTP with Phineas and Ferb! This will prove to the world that aliens exist!"

"But wait, how did you-?"

"And that my brothers are up to no good!" Candace added/interrupted the confused, spluttering reporter.

Jimmy Collins wrinkled his nose at the device. "This type of camera would never do!"

"Well, why not?!"

"What's wrong with it?"

"Well, to begin with, I know for a fact that it doesn't record audio well." He took it from Dib and examined it. "Terrible quality. It wouldn't look good on TV. The people deserve only the best!"

"Don't they deserve to know the truth more?" Dib asked in a small voice.

The reporter continued talking, appearing not to have heard him; if he did, he ignored him, a crazed glint in his watery blue eyes, "That's why news anchors are handpicked to be so attractive! They have to be perfect, so the mass public will love them! They have a certain quality, a natural talent! The people love them! They deserve only the best!" His voice broke and tears welled in his eyes as he dramatically reached for the broken pieces of his dream. "Am I not good enough?" he cried to no one in particular. Dib began to slowly back away. "I'll always be a lousy newspaper reporter, a journalist without a face! No one even reads them anymore!" The broken man fell to his knees and began to cry into the nearest object — which happened to be Candace's shoulder.

Dib stared in shocked silence, but was distracted by a van pulling into the driveway. "The Channel 5 news van!" This caused Jimmy to sob harder. Dib rushed out the door, without so much as a backwards glance.

The Channel 5 K-DNVL crew was already setting up their cameras and equipment on the Flynn-Fletchers' front lawn. An important, official looking woman in a suit strode past him. "Excuse me, ma'am—"

"Mrs. Jones!" a voice called.

"Sorry, son, I'm going to have to get back to you later," Mrs. Jones informed him. She walked just as quickly in the direction of her makeup artist, collecting various items, such as a cup of coffee and a bagel, "Even though it's in the afternoon...?" Dib mumbled to himself.

"Yeah, she's always like that, at all times of the day. I myself prefer tea," a British accented voice said. Dib turned to see the voice belonged to a young man with unruly blonde hair and easy-going blue eyes that looked very familiar. He smiled at the boy from behind the camera that he lovingly polished. "So... do you believe in aliens?"

* * *

Isabella's heart raced. Her eyes flickered back and forth between the bomb pigs, trying to watch them all at once, the red digital numbers counting down. Her stomach lurched when she noticed one particular countdown clock with only 10 seconds until detonation.

Thinking quickly, she took a running leap into the bare tree branch and shouted at the top of her lungs, "Everybody take cover!" Gaz and the Fireside Girls leaped behind a conveniently placed boulder just in time to safely observe the pigs, either rigged with bombs, wings, or neither all explode in a chain reaction. The only things left were faint trails of smoke and vanishing numbers where they had stood just seconds ago.

Isabella climbed down and the other girls vacated their hiding spot to automatically form a back-to-back circle. Even though it seemed as if they had defeated all the pigs, they wisely kept their guard up.

The scenery began to shift around them into a similar landscape with the addition of pits that stretched 3 feet across and to uncertain depths. A deep rumbling sound that reverberated through the air and ground alerted them of a pirate ship floating high above them like an ominous, low-hanging storm cloud.

"We're in the next level," Gaz murmured. "Exploding pigs get dropped on you from the pirate ship while you avoid the pits." She groaned. "It's so impossible to beat. Instead of just defeating all the pigs like the last level you have to avoid the pigs and pits _and_ get the key to the next level."

"So we have to find the key to beat the next level?" Isabella asked.

Gaz frowned. "Yeah, and after that, I heard there are zombie hogs waiting to eat your brains."

Isabella made a face, but hardened her resolve. "Whatever it takes to get out of here. Fireside Girls, let's find that key!"


	10. Key of B Sharp

**Title:** GIR, I Know What We're Gonna Do Today! (GIKWWGDT)  
Chapter 10: Key of B Sharp  
**Characters:** Dib, Eric Collins (OC), ~Jimmy, ~Mrs. Jones, ~Candace, ~Phineas and Ferb, Isabella, Gaz, Gretchen, Adyson, Katie  
**Word count:** 1304

**Author's Note:** Hehe. Music puns.  
Turns out I thought I had posted this chapter a few months ago when I finished it, but I hadn't. Oops. Well, enjoy!

* * *

Dib stared in shock at the cameraman. "H-How did you know that I believe in aliens?"

The man chuckled. "Sure, they keep us cameramen in the dark about most news stories, but I did a little snooping of my own. I'm always on the lookout for paranormal phenomena, even if it's a claim made by a young bloke like yourself. I understand what it's like to be able to sense spirits and have everybody doubt you solely because of your age. Oh, I've gotten ahead of myself. Sorry. My name's Eric. Eric Collins. What's yours, chap?" Eric stuck out his hand and smiled in a very familiar way.

A sudden thought hit Dib. Shaking his hand, he introduced himself and asked, "You don't happen to know a journalist by the name of Jimmy Collins, do you?"

"Ah, he's my father's brother." He gestured at an old, beat up car that Dib hadn't noticed parked on the curb behind the Channel 5 news van. "I see you've met him."

Dib nodded and eagerly shared the story behind it. Between waiting for Mrs. Jones and stalling his "interview" with Jimmy, Dib recounted how he, his sister, his archenemy, and his minion had ended up trapped in this universe, and how he had befriended Candace in their quest to save the Earth and bust Phineas and Ferb. "Once this live news report airs, Zim will finally be exposed as an alien—!"

"Dib!" Eric threw out his arms, effectively cutting Dib off. "Wait, don't you see?"

"See what?" Dib scratched his head, his mind occupied with thinking of different ways to gloat to Zim.

"Listen, I was once part of a secret organization called the Chipped Toenails. The name may sound silly, but they've very serious when it comes down to the scientific aspect of the supernatural. If they see this Universal Transporter — and trust me, word _will_ spread — they'll want to study it, and more than likely, you too!" Eric grabbed Dib's shoulders. "Trust me when I say they'll do _anything _to get what they want. Dib, I can't allow you to endanger yourself by dangling _this_ in front of them."

Dib blinked. "That does sound pretty serious..." He sighed. "But this was going to be the day I showed the world the truth. If I stop, who's to say Zim won't take over the world tomorrow?"

"Dib, if the Chipped Toenails get their hands on the Universal Transporter, you'll have no way to ever return to your world. From what I gather, Zim's exposure will mean nothing in this universe. You and your sister will be taken in for experimentation as well. And how will you ever get home? Dib, for your own good, I can't allow you to put yourself in this kind of danger!""

"I guess you're right. We have to stop this newscast from happening. We have to stall Mrs. Jones!"

"So where do you think the key is?" Isabella asked Gaz as they studied the slightly new landscape.

"Don't you think if I knew I wouldn't still be stuck on this level?"

"Maybe it'll appear if we defeat all the pigs?" Gretchen thought aloud as Isabella opened her mouth to snap at Gaz.

"There's too many; the pirate ship just keeps producing more."

"What if we destroy the ships?"

"How? You can only fight in close range in this game." Gaz frowned.

"Oh." Gretchen silently retreated into her thoughts as she wiped a spot from her glasses.

"Well, is there any way we could attack from the inside — like board the ship and attack them from the inside out...?" Adyson suggested.

"Do you think we could jump on board? After all, the movements, especially jumping, are magnified in this universe," Gretchen observed.

"We should blow it up!" Katie added. "I mean, they're supplying us with weapons we can use against them. We could throw back one of the bomb pigs and blow the whole ship up!"

"That could work..." Gretchen said.

The girls decided to try Katie's plan. They took cover behind a boulder as they waited for the first wave of pigs to drop. Within a few minutes, pig after pig fell from the pirate ship like rain from a cloud, each one with its own fuse and countdown clock. Gaz, Katie, and Adyson volunteered to pitch while Isabella and Gretchen watched for any dangers.

The three on bomb patrol stepped carefully around the mostly motionless pigs. Gaz scowled at one that sniffed at her shoe. The hogs weren't the brightest of creatures, but so much as accidentally kick one and game over. It was made worse by the fact that they were all in such close proximity to one another. Set one bomb pig off and you're screwed. Gaz wasn't sure if they had extra lives in this universe, but she didn't really want to find out.

Suddenly, a rapid beeping caught their attention. The trio whirled around to locate the source, and heard Isabella cry, "Over there!"

Adyson, being the closest to the pig about to detonate, grabbed it by the head and chucked it baseball style as hard as she could in the direction of the pirate ship. The girls held their breathe as the squealing pig collided with the ship; they exploded into 0s and 1s. Among the digital mess, something sparkly caught their eye. It floated in the air for a moment before hurtling to the ground.

"The key!" All five of them rushed through the now snarling horde of hogs to the approximate area the key landed.

"Could it have fallen into a hole?" Gretchen asked as she searched around a withered, barren bush.

"It's over here! I see it!" Katie yelled, pointing at the top of a bare tree. Sure enough, the key glinted from the one of the higher branches, suspended by the keyring.

"Do you think we can shake it down from the tree?"

"Gretchen, I think we have bigger problems..." Isabella squeaked. Every pig had their beady little eyes focused on the group, and most of the countdowns were less than 20 seconds away from exploding and taking the girls with them.

"Since when do bomb pigs have enough of a brain to target us?" Gaz grumbled unhappily. She made her way to the tree with the key and pulled herself up onto a branch. "Are you guys coming up or what?"

The Fireside Girls barely took their eyes off of the pigs to glimpse Gaz getting comfy higher up in the tree. The hogs that were pursuing her snuffled at the ground. Katie immediately jumped into the branches and started up while the others cautiously inched toward it. Rapid beeping began in one pig and the noise spread like wildfire through the barren land, causing them to sprint to the tree. They scrambled to get above the ground before the explosions started in 3...2... "I got the key!"

Once again, the scenery began to shift around them just as the first explosions started to go off.

"Where are we...?"

They appeared to still be outside, judging from the blood red sky. However, the floor beneath their feet was wooden and rotting and... "Is that a canon?"

"Is this... Are we on the pirate ship...?"

"Yar har har! Right you are, matey!" an annoying squealing voice rang out. A loud crash shook the ship and a dark shadow outlined a doorway, fog curling around the silhouette. The Fireside Girls gasped, adding to the suspense, while Gaz just rolled her eyes and groaned, "Ugh, not you..."

* * *

**A.N.: **I hope to have chapter 11 up in a few days, depending on how quickly I can finish 12.  
In the meantime, if anybody is reading this, reviews always make me very happy.


	11. Pigs and Pirate Ships

**Title:** GIR, I Know What We're Gonna Do Today! (GIKWWGDT)  
Chapter 11: Pigs and Pirate Ships

**Author's Note:** Whoops, I uploaded the wrong file. Reviews are appreciated and encouraged.

* * *

Candace was finally rid of the crying journalist. She'd somehow managed to get him to stop wailing and left him with a cup of hot cocoa and a shock blanket, and then ran outside. Immediately, she spotted Dib and a blond man with glasses conversing. Ignoring the serious expressions on their faces, she marched over and planted herself in front of the big-headed boy.

"Thanks for the help with Mr. McSob Story back there."

"Candace! We can't let the world know about the UTP!"

"What—"

"There's a secret, dangerous organization called the Chipped Toenails here that would want to get their hands on it. Eric told me about it!" The blond man grinned and waved. "If we let this story air or get printed and they get a hold of it, I won't be able to get back to my own universe! We have to stop the word from spreading!"

Candace raised an eyebrow. "So you're telling me that after all I just went through, you _don't _want to bust Zim?"

Dib cringed when she put it that way. "No! It's not that — I do want to, but don't you think it's too much of a risk—"

"Fine, fine!" Candace threw her hands up and walked away. The news van Mrs. Jones was currently freshening up in glinted temptingly in the sunlight. "But I'm not passing up this chance to bust Phineas and Ferb, not if I can help it." She ducked inside, while Eric and Dib watched a few feet away.

"Did she just —"

"Yep."

"...Candace!"

The redhead immediately spotted Mrs. Jones; she was the only person that had such a strong presence that made it no wonder she was a news reporter. "Are you in charge here?" the teen demanded.

Mrs. Jones raised an eyebrow. "Young lady, you shouldn't—"

"—be in here, yeah,yeah, I know the drill. But I have a question for you—"

"Candace, wait!" Dib burst in, panting. "You can't do this!"

"And you two are not supposed to be in here!" Mrs. Jones stepped between them and pointed firmly at Candace. "I want to _personally_ speak to your mom."

"Yes, yes!" In the blink of an eye, Candace had her phone out and speed dialed Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher. She shoved it in Mrs. Jones' hand. "Please get my mom here right away!"

"Mrs. Jones, wait. You can't air this news report—"

"Both of you, outside. Or you're next, mister."

"But-"

"No but's!"

That effectively shut them down. They obediently stepped outside, and turned on each other.

"This is all your fault!"

"What?! You're one to talk, mister!"

"Are you kidding me?! I'm not the one-"

"Well-!"

They turned away from each other, with their stubbornly arms crossed.

"Ahem. Why don't we just settle down and discuss this over a nice cuppa tea, alright?"

"No thanks!" they both yelled at the same time again.

Eric shrugged and rejoined his camera crew, leaving the two to glare at each other, then storm off.

* * *

"Gaz, you know who that is?" Isabella asked, pointing at the mysterious figure.

"Yeah, that's the ghost pirate boss pig. But this is only the fir—"

"Gaz, look out!"

Gaz easily dodged a ghost pig's weak attempt to grab her and aimed a kick in its direction, but her foot went right through it. "Yar har har! Just try to defeat my ghostly army!"

"Katie, I choose you!" The blonde reached into her pack and pulled out an iron frying pan with which she used to swipe at the hogs. Each one that the pan passed through disappeared with a squeal and a puff of smoke. Katie blew some of it off her kitchen utensil and twirled it like a handgun before starting to replace it in her backpack.

"I learned that from television, you son of a —"

"Katie, this fic is rated K+!"

"What? I was just gonna say son of a gun. Either way, that won't keep 'em away for long. They'll be back."

"Guys, I think we have more pressing matters at hand," Gretchen squeaked.

"Yar har har! That's right!" The boss pig finally stepped out of the shadows. Other than a pirate outfit that looked like it was made for a toy dog, an eye patch, and a poorly imitated accent, this "ghost pirate boss pig" looked to be like any other pig they'd fought.

"What?! How'd you defeat my army so fast?" He took one look at Katie's pan and started squealing furiously. "Cheaters! You're no fun!"

"_This _is the boss pig we're supposed to defeat?" Isabella asked skeptically.

Before Gaz could respond, Katie rushed forward with her pan. "I'll take care of him!" She swiftly brought it down on his head, knocking off his hat in a colorful blur, but a gust of wind and distinct lack of oinking suggested he had abandoned ship.

A greasy claw plucked Gaz up and flung her on the crow's nest, where she scowled and immediately started searching for a way down.

"Did you think I'd be that easy to defeat? Yar har har! You're sadly mistaken, maties! Now your friend is stuck up there! I hope she's not afraid of heights! Yar har har! Just try to defeat me and my ghost army now!" Said "army" returned a moment later out of nowhere, angrier and more hostile than before. They surrounded the pirate pig like a ghostly entourage.

Isabella risked a glance at a very enraged Gaz and again yelled, "Katie, I choose you!"

The same scene from before played out again as the girl brought the pan down on the snarling pigs. She blew smoke from it, replaced it with a dramatic twirl, and said, "That's for Gaz, you ugly pigs!"

The four Fireside Girls cornered the Pirate Pig, who was literally quaking in his boots. Without his ghost army to protect him, he was nothing more than a pig in a pirate costume. Isabella almost felt pity for him. However, they'd promised to save Gaz, so without further ado, she swung her foot around and kicked him into a pile of barrels. He disappeared — not burst into 0s and 1s like the other pigs they'd faced, but shimmered, then faded. They looked around, but he was nowhere to be found.

Gaz was trying unsuccessfully to climb over the edge, but some type of force field was preventing her from doing so.

"Where are you?! Show yourself!" Adyson screamed.

A loud crash, then a deep rumbling filled the air, the source the cabin that the pirate pig had originally emerged from. More crashing followed; curious, the girls cautiously approached the door. The crashing grew louder and more frequent, and the rumbling reminiscent of a drum roll. "Are those footsteps?!"

The Fireside Girls leaped to the side — just in time, for at that moment the captain's quarters flew apart, a blob of pink at the center. "Yar har har!"

"No way!"

"Is that —"

"He grew bigger?!"


End file.
